> “Bounding on stage for his first ever solo show at Edinburgh, Imran Yusuf isn’t your stereotypical stand-up. For one thing, he’s a Muslim, though he barely refers to this fact. He is also full of positive energy, happiness and joie de vivre.

He’s no doom merchant lamenting his lack of luck with the ladies but a man so full of fun that the audience can’t fail to not only warm to him, but feel positively fired up by his infectious personality. He has the feel good factor on tap.

He’s no oil painting with his scrawny build, large nose and irregular teeth, but his smile lights up the room and the sound of his laughter peppers his material. Born in Kenya, he moved to England at an early age but was educated in the USA and it is from here that he draws the inspiration for most of his material.

His stories of going to school it the States were told in faultless American accents and delighted the bunch of Americans in the audience who, by coincidence, came from the same town.

The comedy drew on his experience of being ridiculed by the Americans for his English accent, but his cultural comparisons are seen from a totally different perspective as he subverts the traditional UK-USA dissonance.

By not focussing on the obvious racial stereotypes, he wins over the entire audience. His happy, positive personality leaves them feeling uplifted, energised and privileged to have had An Audience With Imran Yusuf” ***** Chortle (Cara Sandys. 17.8.10)

>> “Imran Yusuf’s show heralds the birth of a new comedy star. Intelligent, thought provoking and laugh out loud funny it’s a glorious debut.” **** Time Out (Tim Arthur)

>>> “Imran Yusuf has to be one of the most captivating, energetic, and animated stand up comedians I’ve ever seen. His act is at a mile a minute, and he doesn’t let off for any of it. This show was a slight change on his usual act, focusing much more on his personal life, ideas, and experiences.

His delivery is lightning-fast, and with this show you get a real feeling of ‘getting to know’ him. He describes about his time at an American school, and how he was bullied for being British, patriotism and how we choose ‘British (UK)’ on software installations. Throughout the show he high-fives the front row, blows kisses to the girls, which is a really funny touch.

A highlight of the show is the ‘British citizenship test’, showing words such as ‘schedule’ that are often mispronounced due to things like American TV, which he got a guy in the front row answers with flying colours. Although the Fringe was one of the first public shows of this new material, it is already fairly solid, providing a lot of thoughtful insights into big topics like immigration, religion and culture. The material is very personal, and it’s a great to hear so much about a very interesting character such as Imran.” ***** The New Current (Mark Thomas)

>>>> “The Free Fringe is throwing up some great talent, not least this young Londoner of Asian extraction who has been gigging in clubs for a while but appears to be on the cusp of a breakthrough into the mainstream. Yusuf’s material is almost entirely about being a British Muslim, or should that be a Muslim who lives in Britain – a question he poses more than once in a very well thought-through set that subverts a lot of notions about racism.
He has some great stories about the time he spent at middle school in New Jersey; it remains the only time, he tells us, that he has ever been picked on for being English. “You people complain about being called infidel, but you don’t know what racism is until you’ve been called ‘English muffin’.”

Yusuf has a tendency to be a little preachy, but he’s clued-up enough to draw it back with an unexpected punchline when he feels he is losing the room. When he isn’t talking about racism, though, he’s leering at the women in the front row and suggesting they meet him in the loos. Classy.

He’s a very animated performer and a young man in a hurry; Yusuf references coming back next year and being a big star a few too many times, but there’s is no doubting his talent. As he says, catch him before you have to pay for the privilege. Until 29 August” **** Veronica Lee – The Arts Desk

“Imran Yusuf’s show (Laughing Horse @ Espionage 4 stars) is an hour of cheek and charm that takes us briskly through the Asian comic’s early life at an American school where his peers treated him as if he was in Mary Poppins (”Can you imagine me in that film? Well, maybe as a chimney sweep”) through to his life in Britain as a Muslim. “ **** The Independent (Julian Hall)

“Here we are at the end of the Fringe, and there are so many acts I meant to see but didn’t. I have a ‘would like to see’ list the length of the Mile. Then a couple of days ago, Imran Yusuf graduated from this list to the ‘must see’ list. He was nominated for an Edinburgh Comedy Award.
My head is not usually so easily turned; there have been some truly dreadful winners of what was the Perrier, in its various incarnations. But Yusuf is special in that he is the first winner from the ever-growing free Fringe scene, placing it more firmly on the map than ever.
The place is packed to the rafters, with as many turned away. Whilst desperately wanting such a fantastic success story to come out of the incredible amount of hard work and dedication the that is the Free Festival, I am naturally swayed to distrust such hype and so the bar is set high. As far as I am concerned, he needs to prove himself. Not prove that he is a good free act; prove that is he a good act.
He is a bloody good act. He is so good I want to cry a little at the end. Taking in themes of race, culture and identity, he pleas for peace and tolerance. He would be broadly described as ‘political comedy’, but he in fact comes across not as political but as deeply human. It is his very rejection of such boxes that make him so remarkable. Add to this a tremendous physicality and a joyful glint in his eye, and it’s easy to see why I came out of the show somewhat in love with him.
What simultaneously makes him brilliant, but hinders this from being a 5 star review, is his potential to be better. He has his weak moments. These may pass in poorer performers as strong moments, but they undermine my expectations which, by the end, are still high – not because of the hype, but because of what I have seen him do.
I hope he wins the best newcomer. It would be not only an amazing achievement for the free Fringe Festival movement, but one that is well deserved.” **** The Skinny (Lizzie Cass-Maran)

Imran Yusuf
You Would Never Believe…Imran’s a passionate Video Games Consultant for Midway, Eidos, SEGA & Headstrong Games plus enjoys martial arts, free-running, climbing, football & learning to speak Japanese in his spare time.

Edinburgh Show: An Audience with Imran Yusuf
Where: Laughing Horse @ Espionage
When: 6-30 Aug
Time: 4.30pm-5.30pm
Show Summary: The fast-talking lyrical machine-gun comic slows it down for a deep and meaningful look at life with personal stories and a unique life philosophy. Based
on intense personal experiences, a lot of soul searching, lost friendships and fights, comes a light-hearted hour on our commonalities as human beings.

Imran Yusuf’s Upcoming Comedy Club Gigs

“A compact stage benefits this quintet’s matey charm and it’s refreshing to see improv performed with such a professional lack of corpsing. Audience members are incorporated but not humiliated and there’s a great deal of fun to be had in spotting the impending gags. It’s very rare to see improv comedy so consistently hit the mark.” **** The List

“The Noise Next Door are five hyperactive, hypermobile performers, whose lively and unpredictable show is a exemplar of high-quality, high-energy improvised comedy. In a twist on the usual format, they structure their show around the establishment of an agency to fight evil, asking the audience for suggestions regarding their underground lair, the identity of their nemesis, and the format of a secret mission. It’s a clever set-up, marking their show out as distinct from the many other improv troupes on the Fringe, and – with the help of some inspired audience contributions – they create a brilliantly funny hour of preposterous scenarios and over-the-top characters. The interplay between this close-knit group and their astounding physical, facial, verbal, and lyrical dexterity is impressive and consistently entertaining. Accompanied by a quick-thinking guitarist, they also belt out some musical numbers, in an impressive range of genres, including some lightning-fast freestyle rapping. Overall, this is fun, well-executed and original improvised comedy.” **** Broadway Baby (Beth Kahn)

“The Noise Next Door consist of Charlie Granville, Tom Livingstone, Matt Grant, Tom Houghton and Sam Pacelli, with Nathan Marshall on guitar.

This improvised comedy show from The Noise Next Door is unlike anything you have ever seen before. Featuring some corny pubs and witty one-liners, ‘Chaos Control’ is hilarious and sheer genius, excellently improvised and incredibly well presented. The show follows a vague structure about forming a secret agency, but aside of that relies upon audience input. As such, the show varies greatly from performance to performance, but the key fact still remains, that the boys of this ‘camp comedy troupe’ can tackle almost anything the audience suggest to them; ranging from Viking Techno music about Goblin Ninjas, to Richard Branson being hidden away due to constipation.

At times this show can be incredibly bizarre, but it is in this that it’s merit lies – the way in which all of the performers manage to instantaneously create scenes or vocalise songs is nothing short of impressive and almost unbelievable, this is especially the case with guitarist Nathan Marshall who seems to be able to provide musical accompaniment for anything and everything and in every conceivable style. What makes this show even better is that the boys give you everything – great comedy, stunning improvisation and – described as a ‘comedy JLS’ – they can sing! If their comedy ever fails (which in some ways unfortunately it never will) The Noise Next Door could always form a boyband – maybe an option for next year’s Fringe guys?!

Chaos Control is most definitely worth more than the price of a ticket, and I recommend you all pen it into you Fringe planners.” **** ScotsGay

“The penultimate, particularly hectic section of The Noise Next Door’s new show Chaos Control doesn’t work at all. The longer it goes on, the less idea you have what the members of this quickfire improv troupe are trying to achieve, and it exhibits the worst traditional vice of this style of comedy in that the performers seem to be having far more fun than the audience.
Not so the rest of the show, a hodge-podge of off-the-cuff rhyming, (atrocious) dancing and all-round silliness that is often riotously enjoyable. It kicks off with these five young fellows embarking on a “mission”, its various components yelled out in turn from a very willling audience and incorporated with lightning speed into the skit. On the evening I caught them, the result was an agreably surreal adventure in which The Magic Roundabout’s Zebedee led the forces of good against Darth Vader, who was holed up in Worcester Cathedral.

Ok, maybe you had to be there. But had you been, you would have laughed a lot, as well as being treated to — among other things – a hilariously lubricious R&B love song, as well as a mini-musical that incorporated panto, folk and death-metal.
In fact, the death metal vocals sounded very and inexplicably Jamaican. Much as, when we collectively cooked up a drama in which a sausage roll was going to be crucified in the Kellogg’s factory, and four of the troupe gave the fifth punning clues as to what was going on, he came up with the still more improbable: “Are you hiding a sausage-roll that is turning into Jesus?”
The quintet win either way. When they guess correctly, or nail an impression, accent, or rhyme, the speed of thought is both impressive and funny. When they fall flat on their faces, such are the zest and all-round good humour radiating from the stage that, although less impressive, it’s funnier still. That late, scrappable section aside, this is definitely a superior kind of chaos.” **** The Telegraph (Mark Monahan)

The Noise Next Door
You Would Never Believe…Between the 5 guys, one loves mozzarella, there’s a 258 top bowling score, 5 years spent in Kenya, crying on cue, making a belly look pregnant and one has the word ‘flange’ tatooed on an arm.

Edinburgh Show: The Noise Next Door: Chaos Control
Where: 33 Pleasance – Courtyard
When: 4-30 Aug (not 11,18) (Previews 4,5,6)
Time: 7.00pm
Show Summary: Earth-shattering secrets & Impossible odds.  Our mission: Protect mankind, kick ass…and bag sexy chicks. Audience suggestions are transformed into fantastically funny scenes and songs, exposing society’s secrets and unleashing ludicrous characters, witty one-liners and explosive physicality.

The Noise Next Door’s Upcoming Comedy Club Gigs

Edinburgh Show: Life of Si: Si Harder
Where: The GRV
When: 6th-30th Aug (not 18 Aug)
Time: 6.40pm
Show Summary: Sophomoric sofa-mates Simon and Sy escape their shared abode to run riot with new shenanigans, bigger videos, camper haircuts, skinnier jeans and more pressing cohabitation questions like, “Have you washed that since last year?”, “Is this safe to eat?” and “Did you pack the teapot?”

Simon Feilder’s Upcoming Comedy Club Gigs

Ryan McDonnell

Edinburgh Show: AAA Stand-up
Where: 33 Pleasance – Courtyard
When: 4-30 Aug (Previews 4,5,6)
Time: 11.00pm
Show Summary: Bringing his own brand of upbeat Northern Irish banter to the Fringe with a mixture of laughs and charm, Ryan will entertain you with an energetically, unique view of the world and how he survives in it.

You Would Never Believe…Ryan is former print & radio journalist and massive football fan, following the lesser know mighty force that is Glentoran FC from East Belfast.

Ryan McDonnell’s current Comedy Club Gigs

So when Life Of Si heard that Doritos wanted people to make them an advert which might be featured on real actual TV, we lept at the opportunity. They may have also mentioned a £200,000 prize fund, I forget the details…”

Enjoy two comedians enjoying themselves…”In The Bag – Simon Feilder Sy Thomas” from Doritos on Vimeo.

WATCH NOW

New Comic Voice Management Acts Announced.

Top Northern stand-up comedian Mike Milligan and rising star Imran Yusuf are hailed as two great acts on the UK comedy circuit. Both available for club, private and corporate bookings, you can find out more on Mike Milligan and Imran Yusuf above.

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John Ryan - Crackin' Up - Because the mind is important

I often sit with the Comic Voice manager Ian Franklin and throw the names of countries at him. It is my way of trying to get a holiday at the same time as working really.  “What about Tonga, they must have a comedy club there?” I ask “or Mauritius?” He has become more used to me over the years I think. Where most other acts might want to get on to TV I am trying to get a gig in Iceland.. Well, I have never been and it sounds like a nice place and I just want to do different stuff really. He knows that I like a lot of variety in what I do. Just doing the comedy circuit would drive me nuts. Don’t get me wrong, it is great to perform in front of a room full of paying customers in a well run club. But I like a bit of a challenge. He asked if I would be interested in working on a Mental Health project.

“It would be about Depression and Suicide”. I looked at his face to see if he was being serious. There is comedy in tragedy I suppose but sometimes it is hard to find it. How can you make jokes about people wanting to take their own lives?

 
The people funding it hope that by involving some of their service users and creating a show, they can raise awareness of the problems faced by men who have experienced despair. This is a very difficult thing to do, as ‘madness’ is not generally the sort of thing you would talk to strangers about. Men are reluctant to admit to a problem, seek help and receive treatment. I wondered how hard it would be to get fellas to admit to any problems? The manager gave me some leaflets to read. I read some facts about it. ‘Suicide rates are on the increase amongst Young men and it is now the most common cause of death among men under 35’. The woman coordinating the project rang and told me “Around three-quarters of young male suicides never had contact with specialist services”.  I gulped at the thought of trying to make that fact amusing. I wondered how a group would respond to me turning up. What would they be like, would they want to talk and if I am really honest would they be a load of lads rocking back and forward dribbling in straight jackets? I carried on reading the literature. For some reason men from Irish families are more likely to receive treatment than men from other European groups. That struck me as very odd. Being from an Irish family, this immediately grabbed my attention. I realised I had a lot of reading to do if I am to make this work. He said that the people running the project would want me to go along to a preliminary meeting and then maybe try some workshops. If it went well I would then have to write and perform a solo show about it all. I went along to a day centre to see how I could make it work. There was a group sitting around waiting for me. “Welcome to the funny farm we are the nutters how do you do?” A few of them laughed. I must have looked thrown, as one lad said, “Don’t worry we wont start eating light bulbs till you are gone!” I felt very uneasy. “Relax you will soon get used to the place” said the ringleader. And what a place it is. People are referred by the local health service as part of their rehabilitation. All of these lads had suffered a breakdown, a crisis or an episode and they were no different to any of my mates. Carl told me how he had been attacked on the way home from work. Someone cracked him over the head from behind and he remembers a knife being held against his throat. He said that he spent months having flashbacks. This made him unable to go out of the house and was part of his post-traumatic stress disorder. It led to him having depression and anxiety attacks. He lost his job and was now using the centre to get back into the ‘groove’ as he called it. I was mortified. “It means I can’t go to the shops, the wife does that,” he said before adding with a laugh “I can’t do the washing up or the hoovering either!” The kid that robbed him made off with more than just a mobile phone and twenty pounds. Carl lost everything. Peter told me that he had always been a depressive but had managed to control it by working and drinking. When his business collapsed the drinking took over. One night he decided to end it all and made a noose. He wanted to die listening to a particular piece of music playing, went off to get a CD and ended up in the pub. Meeting an old drinking pal prevented his suicide. The lads then decided to have a big conversation about music to kill yourself to. I got the feeling that they were putting a brave face on things but felt I should let them. Kevin started smoking cannabis aged twelve and then moved on to other drugs. By sixteen he was hearing voices and knew that only fire could make them go away. He began burning buildings and is currently serving a custodial sentence that allows him to visit the centre as part of his rehab. I was only meant to stay an hour but ended up there all afternoon. It was a world I knew nothing of. I sat on the train on the way home feeling very humble. These fellas are working on a daily basis to get back on their feet. I am meant to write an hours worth of material and felt that I had heard a lifetimes worth. The mind is a fragile thing, who knows what may happen to any of us. The manager called to ask how I got on. “If you don’t fancy it I can get you the gig in Iceland?” he said. I told him that Iceland could wait. The journey that we all need to take is the one that makes us question ourselves and our attitudes and it is one I shall be taking. The show will be called ‘Crackin Up’ and If nothing else it will make for an interesting experience.

John Ryan on Stage

Big night tonight. The club holds five hundred and they have their senior managers in. The venue manager is stressed and worries about what they might say. I arrive an hour before the gig and count down the minutes. Soon after arriving we hear the words all comics dread. “Sorry but we are running late!” But then they send someone to check you are okay for food and drinks. You don’t get that in a normal day job. I can’t imagine mechanic being told “ere ya go Dave a nice bacon sandwich to make up for the exhaust not arriving”. Most comedians would agree that you can run as late as you like if there is food involved in the compensation. I read through the menu and my stomach cheered. I am sure a nice juicy steak will take my mind off of the clock.
So, we have time to kill and loiter backstage. The dressing room is a funny place. I am like a child waiting to open Xmas presents. I can’t sit still. I try to look like I am focussing on the job in hand.  I am surrounded by the other acts looking professional as they prepare themselves. I try not to annoy people as they all have their own mannerisms and rituals. I have been in dressing rooms with acts that will go through their entire set list with you. Others sit moodily brooding as they prepare to do ‘battle’. I guess we all have our own techniques for preparing.

The headline act sits strumming his guitar and fills the room with gentle music. He looks sharp in his best suit. He spent five minutes cleaning his shoes. He even brought a proper brush and polish. How cool is that. I don’t even own a proper brush and polish. I looked down at my scuffed footwear and wondered how I could clean them discreetly. I am incapable of doing anything discreetly. I make a half hearted attempt at cleaning up before deciding that if I move around the stage really quickly no one will have time to concentrate on my footwear.
Apparently an audience decides within thirty seconds whether or not they like you. It is down to the little things, how you walk on, how you take the mic and what you are wearing. I catch my reflection and decide that I look clean. The other acts appear occupied so I pose in front of the mirror checking myself out. I am at the age now where my hormones seem to only make long nostril hair. I move about to see if they are noticeable and do a twirl. No one is watching as I curtsy. It makes me giggle.
The Opening act reads through her set list and hones her material whilst talking on the phone to her boyfriend, another comic at a gig miles away. “Yeah love you too Bunnykins!” she says. “Bunnykins?” He likes to see himself as a serious political comedian. That could kill his reputation completely!  She licks her top lip smearing her lip-gloss seductively. I try to lick my top lip to see how it feels. I think I might have found a bit of tomato soup and make a “Yummy” sound. She ignores me and looks at the ceiling. I raise my eyes and catch my reflection in the mirror. I think it amusing to poke my tongue out and pull faces. The middle act arrives and catches me grinning at my reflection. “G’day everyone. Hey Ryan you losing the plot pal?” he throws a cushion at me. I catch it and return it immediately, bang direct hit! Unfortunately he stumbles back onto the headliners guitar case. Oops. Musicians do not like having their stuff touched or played with. “It was his fault,” says the Aussie. The headliner is calm but authoritarian. He has been on the circuit for years and we respect his seniority. “You two should save your humour for the stage”.
The opening act tuts, “Men are so childish!” before texting her boyfriend to remind him to take a chicken out of the freezer for dinner. Oh the Glamour. The Aussie goes outside to smoke and the room falls calm. The headliner does his vocal exercises whilst The Opening act reminds her boyfriend to empty his pockets before doing the washing.
Lots of Comics get nervous before a gig. I watch them and wonder what the problem is? For many normal people I suppose the thought of walking out in front of hundreds of people can be a bit daunting. The idea that we presume we can make you laugh is a bit egotistical. But the way I look at it these people have paid money and are out for a good time. No one goes to a comedy club intent on being miserable do they? My compensation steak arrives and I tuck in.
“It’s Showtime in five” the announcement is made and we make our way downstairs. The Opening act is still on the phone. We see the room for the first time. It is packed and the air is charged. Aussie lights another cigarette and inhales deeply.
 I don’t know if my clowning around is my way of dealing with the pressure, but I don’t feel nervous at all. Never have. I have performed in front of thousands and not been phased. Although performing a kid’s show at my children’s school filled me with fear. I know I can muck up on stage and bring it back, but if I goofed in front of my eleven year old daughter’s mates I would never hear the end of it. Now that is pressure.
The Show manager gives us the signal and the music kicks in. The audience start cheering and off we go. There are good jobs, and there are bad jobs. But mine, it’s fantastic! You get to travel, meet people, talk about anything you want and get paid. And you know that no matter what anyone calls you it could be worse. Somewhere in the UK there is a comic who gets  called Bunnykins.

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More of John Ryans’ musings on the world can be found in his weekly columns in the Irish Post.

I am gigging in Edinburgh and have to take a flight. This presents a bit of a problem. I just don’t like flying. Most people will say it is just the taking off and landing that is the problem. Nope, it is being in the air. It isn’t a fear of heights it is a fear of Flying. Even as a child when most kids would be excited about the thought of getting on a plane I would be petrified. It might be because I never got on one until I was twenty one. Whilst kids at school went off to Spain and Greece every year we only went to one place. We always went to Ireland on the Boat from Holyhead or Liverpool. My schoolmates thought it was because we were poor, but it was more sinister than that. We were sent back to Ireland to find a partner to breed with. It was every Irish parents dream that they would have little Irish grand children running around in Celtic football shirts. Like Salmon facing a perilous journey to the breeding grounds, we too had to have an arduous experience on the journey to make it worth while. The boat was the civilised way to travel. On the news there were never stories of ships sinking, only planes crashing and we feared flight! My dad used to wind us up by threatening us with the airport. He would then relent and say “ok you been good we’ll take the boat”.

At school we had the story of Icarus the Greek bloke who flew too close to the sun and melted his wings. He died and that was all the proof I needed that flight was wrong. It was the start of my phobia. Even years later when I read that it gets colder the higher up you go so he couldn’t have melted anything. It merely reconfirmed my belief that the sky is for the birds and lunatics.
So why then am I yet again sitting on an aircraft headed for Scotland with cabin crew looking at me? Do they know I don’t want to be there? Are they like cats that just know I don’t like cats yet still want to stare at me?
How can any sane person work in a job in the air? Why? I couldn’t do it. It is hard enough sitting on the thing. If I am lucky enough to fly with Chambers and Nettleton they will let me hold their hands, Rudi Lickwood isn’t quite as keen on the idea. I go through a ritual starting by staring at the pilot and flight crew to see if they appear happy. I am not getting on a plane driven by someone who appears hungover, depressed or looks like they have debts that a hefty life insurance policy would eradicate. Ours today look okay although the pilot grins manically which means he is either very happy or a big eejit.
At a party a Pilot told me that the crew look for signs in all the passengers to see who might flip mid air. I said I had seen that on every flight I have ever been on. No one else in the room had. Okay so I must be drawing attention to myself and need to appear calmer. I try to be logical and not worry about death, disfigurement or diarrhoea.
Today’s flight is from London City airport and that has my worst combination of variables. The Air Hostess had seen me standing still on the runway “Come on sir you are holding up the passengers”. The Propellers transfixed me. “Where is the real plane with the jet engines?” She laughed. I was being serious. Propellers are for ships. I don’t want to be 10,000 feet up in the air and one of the propellers sees the water and decides he wants to go hang out with his mates. I want jet engines. I want the latest technology not the height of 1930’s innovation. Propellers? It is the 21st century. I don’t want leeches in hospital, horses pulling carts or coal to heat the house. And I don’t want propellers.
Rudi Lickwood grabbed my elbow. “Stop clowning around and get on the plane”. I took a deep breath and walked. The flight is only an hour long. Last month I flew to Barbados. Eight hours. I was petrified. Only one way to get through it, get drunk. So I had some whiskey at the airport. Okay three. The first problem was that I am not a drinking man and so I get pickled very easily. The combination of being tipsy and a having to pass a gadget shop on the way to the departure gate is a lethal combination. I sat on the plane clutching my newly bought toothbrush with MP3 player and compass whilst wearing my torch on a headband. Two great bargains may I add.
The Plane took off late and I prepared to die. I became a small child and after the third “Are we nearly there yet” the Airhostess suggested I find something to do and have a drink.  I relaxed slightly after a couple of small glasses of wine, although I do like a bit of a singsong when I have been drinking. I fought the urge and started reading about Geoff Norcott’s Edinburgh show. Half way through reading it I realised that the wine had killed the fear and the flight wasn’t bad. But then I did something daft and looked out the window. My brain realised that we had tricked it with alcohol and that we were in the air and panic set in. I looked around realising where I was and must have looked distressed as the woman sitting next to me said. “Must be a great writer to get you that emotional”. “No” says I “it is comedy” she looked at me like I had escaped from a clinic. The flight to Edinburgh went okay. I only used the toilet a dozen times so at least I had clean hands.
We landed and I hugged the crew as we got off. “Thank you for not letting me die” says I to bewildered looking stewards.. As soon as we were clear of the terminal I switched my phone on to ring home and tell them I had survived. I instantly received a text from the management here at The Comedy Club “Do you want to go to Hong Kong for a gig”
Hong Kong is 18 hours in the air, my liver couldn’t take the alcohol. Maybe I could take a Slow boat?
Tonight the gig goes well and I am happy, but tomorrow I have to get on a plane home…..

The Kids and Easter - Rudi Lickwood

Easter is over and the kids are back to school, how happy am I take a look at my fridge…it’s full. If anyone told me my 4 yr old daughter could eat an elephant I’d say you lie no way. I’m not sure what it is do children eat and the moment they eat something it get absorbed into there lymphatic system so fast that not even a formula 1 car engine can keep up or is their a hidden trap door at the bottom of their feet that leaves an invisible trail of digested food that dissolves into any surface they walk on I don’t know. What I do know is that in two weeks on food alone I spent a mortgage and that ain’t easy when you shop at Lidl’s.

This Easter we decided that we would not be buying any of our nieces and nephews any Easter eggs as Jesus Christ sacrifice on the cross and the Easter bunny couldn’t possible have any correlation with chocolate Easter eggs. So we bought them DVD’s instead. Well that was the idea you see Asda was meant to be doing a special offer of £1 DVD’s. Well by the time we got down to our local Asda you would have thought that Woolworths was closing down special priced DVDs did we see any NO! We have 17 nieces and nephews between me and my gorgeous wife I say gorgeous because she is standing next to me and the thought of no bed time fun is out of the question. What I’m trying to say is that we had to take out a bridging loan to cover to the cost of buying DVDs. So right about now Rudi Lickwood is broke back to school sometimes I wish my children could live there. It has been said that children are a bundle of joy no their not their bundle of bills wrapped up in memories that last forever.